“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose.” 
― Steve Jobs

“Hope is the power of being cheerful in circumstances that we know to be desperate.” 
― G.K. Chesterton

“I need COFFEE to help me change the things I can... and WINE to help me accept the things I can't!” 
― Tanya Masse

“There are three intolerable things in life - cold coffee, lukewarm champagne, and overexcited women...” 
― Orson Welles

“As long as there was coffee in the world, how bad could things be?” 
― Cassandra Clare

“I'd rather take coffee than compliments just now.” 

“Beauty is to recognize how full of Love you are. Sensuality is to let some of that Love shine through your body.” 

“As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking.” 
― Virginia Woolf

“Ladies who play with fire must remember that smoke gets in their eyes.” 

“I like men who have a future and women who have a past.” 
― Oscar Wilde

“The most beautiful makeup of a woman is passion. But cosmetics are easier to buy.” 

“Dress shabbily and they remember the dress; dress impeccably and they remember the woman.” 
― Coco Chanel

“How wrong is it for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself?” 

“When a man gives his opinion, he's a man. When a woman gives her opinion, she's a bitch.” 
― Bette Davis

“Above all, be the heroine of your life, not the victim.” 
― Nora Ephron

“As usual, there is a great woman behind every idiot.” 
― John Lennon

“Being a woman is a terribly difficult trade since it consists principally of dealings with men.” 
― Joseph Conrad, Chance

“Unbeing dead isn't being alive.” 

Never ruin an apology with an excuse.

A slip of the foot you may soon recover, but a slip of the tongue you may never get over.
- Benjamin Franklin

Winners lose more than losers. They win and lose more than losers, because they stay in the game.
- Terry Paulson 

Luck is a matter of preparation meeting opportunity.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it's the ability to deal with them.” 

“Anyone who thinks sitting in church can make you a Christian must also think that sitting in a garage can make you a car.” 
― Garrison Keillor

Forget the butterflies. I feel the whole zoo when I am with you.

“One lives in the hope of becoming a memory.” 

“People are almost always better than their neighbors think they are.” 
― George Eliot, Middlemarch

“It is curious that physical courage should be so common in the world and moral courage so rare.” 
― Mark Twain

“The truth is rarely pure and never simple.” 
― Oscar Wilde, The Importance of Being Earnes

“…every feeling is the perception of a truth...” 

It is scientifically proven that people who have more birthdays live longer.

Fear is a reaction. Courage is a decision.

Sir Winston Churchill

Courage is grace under pressure.
Ernest Hemingway

Our character is what we do when we think no one is looking. H. Jackson Brown

A hospital bed is a parked taxi with the meter running. Groucho Marx

Love is a great beautifier. Louisa May Alcott

The pen is the tongue of the mind. Horace

• A pessimist’s blood type is always b-negative.

• Don’t worry about what people think. They don’t do it very often.

• Do you believe in love at first sight or do I have to walk by again?

• Everyone has the right to be stupid, but you are abusing the privilege.

• Save a tree, eat a beaver! Hurray for Earth Day!

Zombies eat brains. You’re safe.

Jealously is a disease…get well soon!!!!

I don’t believe in plastic surgery, But in your case....Go ahead.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until they speak. – Steven Wright

The best way to remember your wife’s birthday is to forget it once. – E. Joseph Cossman

I was married by a judge. I should have asked for a jury. – Groucho Marx

Before marriage, each looks at the other through rose- colored glasses. After marriage, they see each other with magnifying glasses!

There’s a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It’s called marriage. 
– James Holt McGavran

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

My husband said he needed more space. So I locked him outside.

Behind every successful wife, stands a surprised mother in law.

In our marriage everything is 50/50. I cook, he eats. I wash, we wears. I shop, he pays!

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

“Some people claim that marriage interferes with romance. There's no doubt about it. Anytime you have a romance, your wife is bound to interfere.” 
― Groucho Marx

"Food is symbolic of love when words are inadequate."

“Egotist, n. A person of low taste, more interested in himself than in me.” 
― Ambrose Bierce, The Unabridged Devil's Dictionary

“When you're silent, your silence condones it. Thus, whatever you believe in goes down the drain.” 

“I'm learning how to taste everything. ” 

“It doesn't matter where you're from - or how you feel... There's always peace in a strong cup of coffee.” ...

“Then I discovered that being related is no guarantee of love!” 
― Stieg Larsson, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo

“Friends are the family you choose 

“Only the dead have seen the end of war.” 
― Plato

“I would not know how I am supposed to feel about many stories if not for the fact that the TV news personalities make sad faces for sad stories and happy faces for happy stories. ” 

“Great. I'd been dumped in Hell's waiting room.” 
― Karen Chance, Touch the Dark

“Idiot. I told you not to fight the horse thing.” 
― Julie Kagawa, The Iron King

“If there's no chocolate in Heaven, I'm not going.”

“If warm air rises, Heaven could be hotter than Hell.” 
― Steven Wright

“This is the problem with forever friends. They know too much.” 

“I think that men ought to treat women like something other than weaker men with breasts.” 
― Jim Butcher, Storm Front

“Sarcasm creates a chasm between yourself and others.” 
― Gayle Forman

“Compromise is a stalling between two fools.” 
― Stephen Fry

“All sins are forgiven once you start making a lot of money.”

“When a thing is funny, search it carefully for a hidden truth.” 
― George Bernard Shaw, Back to Methuselah

“I’m an atheist and I thank God for it.” 
― George Bernard Shaw

“Don't look at me in that tone of voice.” 
― Dorothy Parker

“Life sucks, and then you die...” 
― Stephenie Meyer, Breaking Dawn

“No good deed goes unpunished.”
― Oscar Wilde

“Fighting for peace is like screwing for virginity.” 
― George Carlin

“Have you ever noticed how ‘What the hell’ is always the right decision to make?” 
― Terry Johnson, Insignificance

“I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.” 
― Woody Allen

“In the republic of mediocrity, genius is dangerous.” 
― Robert G. Ingersoll

“Reason is intelligence taking exercise. Imagination is intelligence with an erection.” 
― Victor Hugo

“It takes something more than intelligence to act intelligently.” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Crime and Punishment

“As long as she thinks of a man, nobody objects to a woman thinking.” 
― Virginia Woolf, Orlando

“I am so clever that sometimes I don't understand a single word of what I am saying.” 
― Oscar Wilde, The Happy Prince & Other Stories

“I am a sick man... I am a spiteful man. I am an unpleasant man. I think my liver is diseased. However, I don't know beans about my disease, and I am not sure what is bothering me. I don't treat it and never have, though I respect medicine and doctors. Besides, I am extremely superstitious, let's say sufficiently so to respect medicine. (I am educated enough not to be superstitious, but I am.) No, I refuse to treat it out of spite. You probably will not understand that. Well, but I understand it. Of course I can't explain to you just whom I am annoying in this case by my spite. I am perfectly well aware that I cannot "get even" with the doctors by not consulting them. I know better than anyone that I thereby injure only myself and no one else. But still, if I don't treat it, its is out of spite. My liver is bad, well then-- let it get even worse!” 
― Fyodor Dostoyevsky, Notes from Underground, White Nights, The Dream of a Ridiculous Man

“Travel is never a matter of money but of courage” 
― Paulo Coelho, Aleph

“Until an hour before the Devil fell, God thought him beautiful in Heaven.” 
― Arthur Miller, The Crucible

“The menu is not the meal.” 
― Alan W. Watts

“A cult is a religion with no political power.” 
― Tom Wolfe

“An intellectual? Yes. And never deny it. An intellectual is someone whose mind watches itself. I like this, because I am happy to be both halves, the watcher and the watched. "Can they be brought together?" This is a practical question. We must get down to it. "I despise intelligence" really means: "I cannot bear my doubts.” 
― Albert Camus

“Morality is simply the attitude we adopt towards people we personally dislike.” 
― Oscar Wilde, An Ideal Husband

“If you win, you need not have to explain...If you lose, you should not be there to explain!” 

“Go to heaven for the climate and hell for the company.” 
― Benjamin Franklin Wade